The Joy of Siblings
(Photo Credit: Mark Fletcher Photography)
Aside from the World Cup, the big news in Dallas this year has been the birth of three eaglets. Their nest sits near White Rock Lake, alongside a path used by thousands of walkers, runners, and cyclists every day. Photographers have been sharing pictures and livestreams, and local news stations have been covering their progress.
The odds of three eaglets successfully fledging are typically less than forty percent. Usually, the largest and strongest sibling dominates the food supply. Yet all three Dallas eaglets have survived and appear to be thriving. It has been fascinating to watch the dynamics within the nest and beyond as these three siblings have grown over the past few months.
Watching them has gotten me thinking about my own siblings.
Other than our parents, no one has a greater influence on who we become than our brothers and sisters. We learn some of our earliest lessons about sharing, competing, negotiating, forgiving, and belonging through our interactions with them. While we may not battle over food the way eaglets do, most siblings can probably remember a few childhood disagreements that felt just as important at the time.
Growing up, I certainly did not appreciate my siblings the way I do today. Like many families, we had our share of arguments, rivalries, and disagreements. If someone had told me then that my siblings would one day become some of my closest friends, I probably would not have believed them.
When our parents passed away more than ten years ago, my siblings and I made a commitment to take a trip together every year. We wanted to preserve the bond that our parents had helped create and make sure that distance and busy lives would not slowly pull us apart.
Our first trip was to the Amalfi Coast. It was a wonderful gathering that included spouses and many of our children. Looking back, none of us knew how special that trip would become. It was the last time all four siblings would travel together. The following year, my oldest brother passed away unexpectedly.
His death changed the way I think about family.
One of the lessons that comes with age is realizing that the people who have always been there will not always be there. We assume there will be another holiday, another phone call, another trip. Then life reminds us that none of those things are guaranteed.
The three of us who remain have continued our tradition. Over the years we have traveled to London, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Portugal, and Alaska. We chased the recent total solar eclipse across Arkansas in search of the perfect viewing location, and woke up before dawn to see the hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque. Every trip creates new memories, but just as importantly, it gives us time to revisit old ones.
One of the things I enjoy most is listening to stories that I have heard dozens of times before. Somehow they never get old. Perhaps it is because siblings are among the few people who remember the same events from the same time in life. They remember the family traditions, the vacations, the challenges, and the small moments that shaped us. They knew us long before careers, accomplishments, and adult responsibilities entered the picture.
As I have gotten older, I have come to appreciate my siblings far more than I did when we were young. Age has a way of providing perspective that youth often lacks. What once felt ordinary now feels like a gift.
Like those eaglets on White Rock Lake, my siblings helped shape the person I became. They taught me lessons, challenged me, encouraged me, and shared experiences that no one else fully understands.
I do not know how many more sibling trips we will take together. None of us do. But I know that when each trip ends, the conversation inevitably turns to where we will go next year.
And I have learned not to take that conversation for granted.
Continue the Journey
Author's note: Many of the themes in this reflection—family, presence, grace, and the relationships that shape us—also appear in my novel, The Meaning of Joy.
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